Thursday, January 20, 2011

15/40

Hello, blog! I'm still here. Fifteen weeks and one day pregnant. This experience just gets weirder and weirder I think. I'm pretty sure my body is changing by the day at this point, and it always looks different in the evening than I remember it looking in the morning. Bizarre. My belly is still not cute and round and obviously pregnant looking, but it's changed enough the even Kyle clearly notices the difference, and that's saying a lot, since as far as he is concerned, I've been the same size for the last six years. Definitely not so accurate. But yeah. This is getting real now. No needing to arch the back to emphasize it.

I'm really happy that baby is doing good growing in there, and that I'm finally seeing some obvious changes, but like, fashion-wise, belly is not making me very happy. Yesterday I wore the one stylish maternity shirt that I have out to trivia night with some friends, and instead of looking cute-pregnant, I'm pretty sure I just looked like I was awkward, chubby, and trying to hide it. Blah. And since it's less uterus, and more internal organs pushed out of the way by uterus, it's still kind of squishy and not hard and round and bleh. And the fact that I have approximately four things that I can fit into, most of which are boring as all hell, doesn't really make me feel any better about this.

But otherwise, I'm doing pretty good. I seem to have gotten over the barfing thing (finally!), although I do still sometimes feel queasy, but not in a yakking-is-imminent kind of way. I am still, though, tired all the time. I think maybe more than I had been previously. And my appetite still hasn't 100% returned. I'm trying to make myself eat so that I can gain back the 5.5 pounds I've lost, but eating when you're not hungry or find everything completely unappetizing is not fun, nor does it really promote a healthy attitude towards food. At least now I'm eating a wider variety of things than just bread, but hopefully soon I will like eating again.

I'm also finding that my center of gravity is already shifting, and I'm a bit more tippy than normal. This wouldn't be such a big deal, I don't think, except for that I spend a lot of my time wearing really tall heels or climbing ladders, or both. This morning we were putting up new displays and I almost lost my balance a couple times in the window. I think I'm going to have to start delegating that part of my job. And just being more careful in general, probably. A lot of my work seems to put me in precarious positions, and I really ought to be more mindful of myself.

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