Thursday, August 7, 2014

Compassionate Parenting

Thoughts for tonight...

It can be really hard to have compassion for a tantrumming toddler. Really really hard. When it's been a long day and I'm on my own for the evening and I didn't sleep well last night and I'm very very pregnant and he is working my last nerve. And I do what I am supposed to do and I draw boundaries and dole out consequences... and then what?

He's three. Even if he didn't listen and he misbehaved and a timeout is well and fully deserved does not make his upset at being there invalid. Of course he's upset. And even though I've already had it, maybe it's better for me to just love him through it.

No, I will not back down, and no I'm not reading that book now that you earlier refused because you had your chance at a nice bedtime routine and you blew it, but YES, that is really sad and it's okay to feel sad about it and I'm sorry you're feeling sad and I will sit here with you and hold you until you feel better and we will try again tomorrow.

I could have just thrown my hands up and walked out and closed the door and he would have yelled for a few minutes and then gone to sleep on his own, but this was better for both of us I think. It's so hard when I'm already exhausted to remain calm in the middle of it all and feel with him. His feelings are important because that is how he is learning. And I'm learning, too. And I think we did an okay job with today.


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