Friday, October 25, 2013


I suppose I should post something, at least, before it is next week, because for me, next week is the beginning of the end what with the working retail and holiday season and busybusybusy for the next forever or at least until January.

Things are mostly good, but tonight I am feeling especially emo about the baby thing, you know, that we don't have one yet, not even working on it at this point in time, and man, that sucks. I don't really have anything else to say about it. It sucks. I am sad. Pictures of other peoples babies make me weepy.

This is not going according to plan, my timeline is all blown to hell, we didn't want to space our children this far apart but too bad oh well. You cant schedule real life, I guess.

Monday, October 7, 2013


Most of the time I really do think I am a good mom.

Probably not the best mom of all time or anything. I lose patience, sometimes I yell, sometimes we watch Cars twice in a row because I'm exhausted and need a break, sometimes we go through the drive thru and eat french fries because why not. And none of those things make me a bad parent and I know that.

But sometimes I wonder if everything that's wrong is because of me. Not the things I did wrong, but the things I could have done that I didn't. That instead of throwing balls all the time always because that's what he wanted to do I could have been teaching him letters or colors or whatever else it is he is supposed to know by now that all the other kids somehow know by now that no one told me I was supposed to make sure he knew until he was already supposed to know. Why didn't I know? Why didn't I try to teach him even if I didn't? Does everything have to be educational?


It seriously leaves me feeling more vulnerable than I ever could have imagined being before.



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