Wednesday, June 22, 2011


Dear Baby,

We made it! Today we are officially 37 weeks pregnant, which means it's safe for you to come out, anytime you want within the next five weeks. I'm hoping you choose sooner rather than later, though. You're getting really big, and I think we're both a little uncomfortable sharing my body these days. But if you're anything like me and your daddy, you won't make us wait too long. And I'm  pretty sure you're at least a little like me and your daddy. Did you know that he was three weeks early? That would be like you coming TODAY! I don't think we'd be quite 100% prepared for that though, so give us a little time to get all the finishing touches together.

I am probably going to miss this time that I always have you with me and it being just the two of us, but I'm also so excited to get to see you on the outside and to introduce you to everybody. There are just so many people that can't wait to meet you. And I'm sure that you'll be just as thrilled to finally get to see your dad and all your grandparents and your aunts and uncles. They can't wait to meet you, either.

Okay, baby, let's get this show on the road!

Love, Mommy

Sunday, June 19, 2011

So close.

36 weeks and counting.  Holy cow. Things are starting to come together. "Surprise" work baby shower this morning, so I finally have a car seat and my midwives can stop yelling at me about that. I am right now pre-washing all my cloth diapers. Laundered all the tiny clothes and blankets and bedding and stuff. Wednesday I will be officially 37 weeks and therefore full term, oh geez.

I am so uncomfortable right now. Baby boy's movements are no longer fun or cute. They hurt. I think he's dropped some, too. Today my lady parts feel all swollen and crazy and sitting is really unpleasant and I had to go find bigger underpants and put on a dress because I needed the room down there. Ridiculous. He's definitely got a hand or two up by his face, because I'm getting painful cervix pokes every few minutes. Thank you, son. And I've been having a lot more braxton hicks. And the heartburn. And today I feel vaguely nauseous. Today is almost different enough for me to feel a bit worried. I suppose if things are still weird tomorrow I will call someone. It would suck, though, to go into labor only a few days before term, because that would fuck up the whole birth center midwives thing. In any case, I have a very strong feeling I'm not going to still be pregnant on my due date. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I don't know. What can you do about gut feelings?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Thirty five and then some.

I really do intend on writing posts on a regular basis, but like, life seems to happen and omg what day is it now? Fuck.

Pretty much. Thirty five weeks as of this past Wednesday. Which means I will be offficially full term omg the baby can come anytime in TEN DAYS. Let me repeat that, TEN DAYS. WHAT! I am not exactly ready. Between trying to get everything done and being freaking exhausted from all the gestating I'm doing, yeah, blog posts have been few and far between. But watch me end up going right to 42 weeks or something and writing three posts a day out of boredom because I have nothing else to do. I hope not.

Things I still have to do: hire a doula, pick a doctor, install my carseat, write my birth plan, see a shrink, clean my entire stupid house, and oh yeah, figure out what the hell to do about daycare, because the solution we thought we had fell through and oh my god there is nothing left in the city of Seattle available before January, apparently. And that's not even including all the "little" things. Ten days. I spend a lot of time trying not to hyperventilate.

I swear one of these days I will have enough time to write something of substance.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


You know what sucks? Rain. Still messing with my all dresses all the time plan. I am probably unecessarily angry about this. I think I went through 12 outfits today before I settled on one that didn't make me feel like crying, and I wasn't really even planning to leave the house or do anything productive. This last bit of pregnancy? Infuriating.

34 weeks today. I need to get my shit together. Today I googled every single family practice and pediatrician covered by my insurance so I can get going on finding a doctor for baby boy. It's 2011, you'd think the internet would be a lot more helpful when it comes to finding a doctor, but no, not really. Rarely did I find a doctor that had reviews, and almost never was the information in the reviews helpful. That's nice that he had a friendly receptionist, but what's his attitude on vaccines? Ugh. I keep getting the feeling that I'm going about this all wrong, because if it was this hard for everyone I would have heard about it, right? Maybe?

But hard as they are, things are going. Kyle is going to put our childcare deposit down tomorrow, assuming the space is still open--cross your fingers, because otherwise we are shit outta luck on that front. Our childbirth class is going well. Penny Simkin is truly the bees knees. I wish she could be my doula.  We're setting up appointments with doulas, too. Better late than never, I suppose. And I got myself accepted into a pilot study about placenta encapsulation and post partum mood disorders, so get that done for free. And I'm like, participating in science, woo. Tomorrow mom is coming over to help me paint our "nursery." I don't know why I am using the quotes there, since it is just the nursery, but it doesn't really feel real yet. Something.

I've gone down to four days a week at work. Three this week because of the holiday. I'm not super happy about it, and I'm only doing it because I have PTO I have to use up by the end of the month. I was hoping it would last a little longer and I could roll it into my maternity leave, but no such luck. But honestly, I think I kind of needed to step back a little anyway, because I am exhausted.

Too exhausted to think of a way to wrap this up. The end.


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