Feelin' Blue

I am depressed about the work situation. I'm pretty sure I posted yesterday about how I like it there and I'm excited and something something blah blah opportunities blah blah whatever, but today, I don't know. It's funny, since actual work today was fine. I was styling mannequins all day, which is something I'm really good at and confident about, and something my new store needs a lot of help with, so I was in my element, and showing my stuff and making a good impression and whatever. Great, right?

Wrong. I kind of hate it there. I know that a big part of it is that I don't really know anyone yet and I don't have friends and inside jokes and someone to each lunch with, and a barista that recognizes me in the morning, and any grasp of the surrounding area where i could get lunch if only I had any idea where I was. And that will change as I get my bearings and get to know people, and I'm sure I'll be on a first name basis with everyone that works at Starbucks by the end of next week considering how often I am in there, but...

But there are some things that I really don't like about my new digs, and those are things that aren't going to change with the passing of time. Maybe my dislike of them will, but I'm not feeling super confident about that.The pace is so s l l o o o w w. I know that was supposed to be a good thing, but my day seems to drag on forever and I feel like I'm not accomplishing enough, and I'm always looking over my shoulder thinking that someone's going to catch me slacking off, but I'm the one working the hardest and I hate it. Half the associates are old enough to be my mom, and I find myself deferring to them even though I am technically the one in charge and maybe that's a personal failure, but it makes me uncomfortable. And the customers are all suburban yoga pants wearing soccer moms, and really I have nothing against suburban yoga pants wearing soccer moms, but they aren't my young urban fashion forward shoppers that were at my old store, and I miss that, and I don't like that I feel out of place for  wearing skinny jeans and a tunic instead of flares and a tee shirt. 

Blah. I need to get over myself. I need a hobby. I had planned to go running this afternoon after work, but instead I came home and moped.  I guess the up side of starting work later in the mornings than I am used to means I will have time to get a run in before work tomorrow.

So, I'm really sorry if you're here to help me scrutinize the meaning of my cervical mucus, or hear me ponder whether this teensey imaginary bout nausea could possibly mean I might actually be pregnant even though I haven't had sex for three weeks, but with the new job situation and the aforementioned lack of sex, this is all I have to offer.