Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Uncharted Territory

At this point in my last pregnancy, 41+2, I was in labor.

I am not currently in labor.

I am not doing so good. I've really managed to keep this hysterical sobbing thing under control this time around, but we are now venturing into the unknown and I am freaked right the fuck out. I have a biophysical profile ultrasound scheduled for Friday. I had one scheduled with Tycho, too, but he was born before we had to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to drink castor oil, I don't want someone to break my water, I definitely don't want my baby delivered by a doctor I've never met in a hospital room I've never seen. I don't want an IV or labor inducing drugs. It may not be accurate, but I feel like not being in labor right now means that all these things are inevitable. Officially I have five more days, but I feel like I've run out of time.

It's not supposed to happen like this. My first baby was late because he was my first, but my second is supposed to be easier. Everyone assured me that he would show up in a timely manner with no shenanigans. Because number two.  But here we are.

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