Thursday, December 9, 2010

Let's talk about...

SEX! No, really. Kyle and I haven't had sex since we found out I was pregnant. Well, we tried once, but it was uncomfortable for me so we stopped and yeah. And we only did it once between conception and the positive test, and I don't think you could count it as good sex, since I was too distracted by my boobs hurting to be paying attention. Pathetic, yes I know.

So anyway. When the hell are we going to do it again? I think Kyle's actually appreciated this time he's had without me bugging him, since my sex drive has normally been irritatingly high, but like normally if I don't initiate for a while he still does and it's been a month and a half and nada. I don't even feel particularly like having sex, really, but I miss the intimacy and I'm kind of afraid that we'll just never have sex again. Like we'll just forget that we ever liked it and how to do it and we've been okay for this long so why bother? Is that stupid? I don't know, but that's where my crazy, hormone-addled brain is going right now. And then I start worrying about how we'll ever have another baby. As if I needed to start even thinking about siblings yet. For real, I am a mess.

Maybe vacation will help. France in sixteen days!


In other news I am nine weeks pregnant as of yesterday. Actually it was more like HOLY CRAP NINE!?!?!?! WEEKS! Yeah. Still no pictures as I still have no camera cord. I am dutifully taking them still, though. I feel a little bigger this week, maybe, but in a lol, where'd my waist go kind of way. Definitely not looking pregnant yet. I did wear a maternity dress yesterday, but it's one that I bought back last spring just because I thought it was cute, and there's no way it will actually fit me when I am in fact needing maternity wear, so I don't think that counts. Oh well.

2 comments:

  1. Thank you, thank you for sharing! I totally identify. We didn't "do it" until I was 7 weeks pregnant and it hurt me--I think 'cause the cervix/baby was still so low. We had sex one other time and then FINALLY again at 20 weeks. That's the first time it didn't hurt. The baby has definitely moved higher in my abdominal cavity. I've gone through so many pointless scenarios in my head: Am I not attractive to him anymore? Is he cheating during the work day? Is he not able to combine the sexual me and the motherly me into one person? I think he just needed space and I needed to chill. M keeps telling me everything is fine and stop analyzing. I still worry, but from what I can tell, this is a common experience.

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  2. This is very good to hear. I'm mostly only a basket case when I'm alone. When Kyle and I have discussed the situation, it's been mostly with a sense of humor. We were not so great at having sex very often before because of things like incompatible schedules and opposite sex drives and things, so when you add fatigue, nausea, and dry and swollen bits into the mix, it's no wonder things go a bit wonky.

    The problem is, though, that I'm all emotional because of all these crazy hormones, and I'm now especially missing the closeness and the intimacy and bonding and all that. But I'm sure things will sort themselves out.

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