Friday, June 25, 2010

Cycle one, day two: please kill me now.

Did I mention that I am on my period? Did I also mention that this is the first period I have experienced that hasn't been induced or mediated or averted by the use of artificial hormones since I was seventeen years old? I know that I am in no position to complain about, well, anything, but what. the. hell? Who decided that bleeding from the vagina was a good idea?

Okay, so, when I was about to start seventh grade and I got my period for the first time, I thought I was an old hand because my mom had already had the talk with me, and I had my own special little stash of junior sized maxi pads in my bathroom, so I just put one in my panties and went about my business and didn't make a fuss about it. Well, little did I know, but apparently one pad all day wasn't going to cut it...

That is how I feel today. Back when I was on the pill my periods were significantly reduced, and I only really ever even had to change a pad because it had been there for a while and that was gross because I never soaked them. And then after I got my IUD inserted my period came, oh, once every never, and I tended to catch it with either the thinnest of panty liners, or just say fuck it and wash my underpants out at the end of the day because it was less of a pain than bothering with feminine hygiene products. Especially when it was only for two days or so.

But what is happening to me now is unholy. I managed to soak through both a tampon and panty liner this morning at work, and my skirt managed to remain unscathed only because my job sucks and I never ever ever get a chance to sit down. And there are cramps! Cramps that are made worse by tampons, which I now remember why I hate, but what I hate more than tampons is that sweaty bloody stinky vag feeling I get from a pad and having to wear unattractive pad-accommodating underpants and WHY ME, GOD?

I suppose I should be happy that I am building up a beefy, embryo-nurturing endometrial lining, and I am, but I would like it to just do it's god damned job and catch a baby so that I don't have to endure this bullshit again for as long as I can manage to extend lactational amenorrhea. Don't you know I will try.


  1. LOL! I've been noticing that about tampons, too. Never heard anyone else say that before. Oh, and thank you for the IUD/hormone education. Very interesting.

  2. It wasn't until maybe three years post IUD insertion that I really understood how it all worked, too. I'm glad it didn't stop me from ovulating, though, because last time I came off the pill I never started again, until after the IUD was inserted six months later.



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