Thursday, March 21, 2013

Weaning Mama.

(Yes, another post about weaning. I know.)

Tycho nursed for the last time eleven days ago. I think that means it's official. I've still got a little milk, but I don't think I will breastfeed Tycho again. Sigh.

He's doing great. I was so worried that it would be hard and there would be lots of tears and I might give in and decide now is not the right time, but I guess it was. He certainly hasn't looked back. We're still adjusting a little with how much he needs to eat, but really it's been a non issue.

I'm doing.. less awesome? I have a cold. Of course. And my period is about a million years late. I'm not really charting right now, but I'm roughly keeping track of fertility signs and what have you and while the timing wasn't perfect... maybe? But I didn't feel pregnant. So I gave my body an ultimatum: a period by Sunday or I would take a test.

I thought by throwing that out into the universe my period was sure to show up immediately. But instead I got every pregnancy symptom in the book: Mystery cramping, sensitivity to smells, food aversions and cravings, nausea, fatigue, the whole nine yards. The only thing I didn't experience was breast tenderness, but I think my boobs have been through enough, don't you?

I started to get hopeful and excited about my little maybe baby. Silly me. But I had a negative test on Sunday evening, and another negative the next morning, too. And had I actually been pregnant, it would have definitely been late enough to test. So I wasn't. I'm not. I'm sad. But I went to my mama class on Monday, and a couple friends confirmed that they too thought they were pregnant for the week right after they weaned.

All of those symptoms have faded away now. My period is still MIA, so I'm thinking I probably never actually ovulated at all, that it was delayed for some reason. I'm also finally coming down off this oxytocin withdrawal from weaning and no longer feel (so much) like crawling into bed for eternity, but I'm sad about the baby that I thought was having that never really existed and I still and congested and have a terrible cough, and am just generally feeling kind of meh. Strangely enough, weaning has absolutely been the hardest thing about breastfeeding.

And it's funny, I was so worried about how Tycho was going to take weaning that I didn't even think it about how it would affect me.

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