Privacy

Hello Reader! (OMG! I have a reader!) Hello Readers would probably have a nice ring to it, but as it is I am only aware of one (hi!), and I am not fancy enough to like, track hits or whatever. Nor do I care. (Actually I am completely vain and I do but oh well.)

So, privacy. I started this blog mostly anonymously, because the whole baby-making thing isn't "out" yet (although I don't exactly keep it a secret either), and because I don't want random sixth-grade class mates Googling me and finding this and then posting about it on Facebook, and I probably don't really have to worry about anyone caring enough to Google me anyway.

But should I get pregnant, I'm going to want to post about ten gazillion pictures of my now flat stomach and then my slightly less flat stomach and then ever expanding belly, and then of course pictures of my hypothetical future baby and I'll want to tell you (oh, sole reader) the name we decide on, and other such details and I won't really be anonymous anymore, will I?

I guess we will have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

I'm pretty boring right now. i am working all the time, and therefor I am completely exhausted all the time that I am not working, and I spend a lot of time contemplating my cervical mucus and silently willing it to become more fertile. Really exciting, I know.

Meta-Blogging and Other Things

So it seems that blogging is not quite as much fun if you don't receive any comments. It's probably why I can never consistently keep a diary or a journal for more than a week. I suppose if I am uninterested in my real life peeps making their way here then I will have to comment on other people's blogs in the hopes that they find me even the slightest bit interesting and maybe sneak a peek over here and then don't think I am totally and incredibly boring.

I've never really fancied myself a writer. I know I'm not a bad writer by any means, but I'm pretty sure I'm not in really very spectacular, either. It's more stream of consciousness, and I think I write exactly the way I talk. I've been told once or twice that I talk the way I write, but I'm pretty sure it's the other way around. Either that or I end up sounding like a stodgy British professor man. But that's mostly when I'm writing a paper or something. Gosh, it's been a long time since I've had to do that. Thank Jesus. And by Jesus I mean that I'm pretty sure that he had all of nothing to do with it, or really anything that ever happens in my life, but his name is a convenient place holder when I don't believe in any sort of deity. I guess I could say "thank nature" or something, but that just seems wrong to me. Yeah, so for future notice, invisible blog readers, any invocation of God or other such theological character is purely a literary device.

See? Stream of consciousness. Actually, that is probably why I like blogging, rather than paper-writing, or like, trying to write a short story or a book or really anything with a plot.

Speaking of, recently sister and I were going through cabinets in our parents house and discovered a pile of "books" that we had created via school projects. Most of hers were hilarious kindergarten through second grade masterpieces, which are funny and embarrassing of course, but in the way that you can completely disregard because you were six years old when you wrote them and no one should be judged by what they wrote at age six.

My book, however, was a collection of works that I created in the first weeks of my sophomore year of high school. While that was approximately nine year ago (holy cow!), it is still recent enough, and fifteen is still close enough to adult, that the secrets contained within said book are truly terrifying to me. I am really bad at judging my writing. Either I think it's totally and completely the best thing ever written or I think I might be struck with lightning to dare write such horrible crap. Either way I'm about 95% sure I am wrong, but you know. Or maybe you don't.

But anyhow, dear anonymous internets, something I wrote in high school:

Aurora

When I awoke it was dark in my room. The hall light was not on like usual, and I could barely tell where my room ended and the next one began. My bed was hot and my face was sweaty. I rolled over onto my side and tried to fall asleep again, but my eyes would not stay shut.

 Slowly I swing my legs over the side of the bed and stretched my arms. Out my window I could see the lights from the buildings downtown. Their reflection on the thick mass of clouds blanketing the city turned the sky an eerie orange color, one that shouldn't be seen in the middle of the night.

 I had to check my clock to make sure that it was not morning and that the orange color was not just the beginning trace of the sunrise. The numbers glowed red in the darkness of my room, cutting through the dense black atmosphere. 1:59 the read. It was much too early for a sunrise.

 Although I understood the phenomenon causing that orange hue to illuminate the sky I couldn't help but feel that something terrible was about to happen.

Wow, so it is really hard to resist the urge to edit the shit out of that. But still, I think it is pretty awesome. It's probably not, but whatever. And let's please ignore that it was written in silver gel pen on black paper. I was creative, okay?

Hello

Hi, Blog!

I am A, nice to meet you. So it's been a long time since the days of LiveJournal and the high school attention-whoring that I participated in there, but I thought it was time again. I am kind of a scientist, I guess, in the sense that I dropped out of college where I was studying biology, and I own my own microscope and I like to catch insects and put them on pins and identify and label them and keep them in well organized boxes. So basically not really.

So I may in fact write about my science-related interests, but honestly it will probably be a lot of me waxing poetic on how much I want a baby. (I reallyreallyreally want to have a baby, by the way.) But still, I didn't want this to have some horrible, vomit-inducing, cutesy baby-blog name, so yeah. Making a baby is kind of an experiment in biology and psychological development and all sorts of things, right? Maybe.

But anyway, perhaps I should complete my introduction post by actually introducing myself. live in Seattle, and I am going to be 25 this year. I didn't quite finish my Bio degree because I realized I didn't really want to make a career out of it, even though I love it as a bug-catching kind of hobby. I work full time in retail, but not the selling part of it. I am a visual merchandiser--think mannequin styling and window dressing, and other such beautiful things. I am a little bit crazy, and I mean that in a good, but still serious way.

Here are some people that will probably be recurring characters in my blog:

Husband: I married my beautiful amazing husband in the summer of 2008. He hails from Ohio. We met online (clearly!) when I was still in high school, and finally met in 2004. He moved here to be with me in 2006, we adopted three cats, and the rest of history. Well, at least with some fun break-up type bumps in the road on the way there. Husband is a unique combination of nerd and athlete, but he is more multi-faceted than just that. He wants to have babies too, but he is a little more freaked out about the actual reality of them, so we're working on it.

BFF: My best friend, obv. We started using all these internet acronyms and abbreviations ironically, but they kind of stuck and I'm not sure it's ironic anymore, but I'm not really embarrassed either. We are in a lot of ways on the same wavelength regarding BAAAAABIIIEESSS!!!! She is getting married this July, and she just found out she is pregnant (OMG!), but shh, don't tell anyone, as it's still new news, so still a secret. I am very happy for her, but also kind of a little jealous. And by a little I mean a lot. But whatev, I am excited to be an auntie soon.

Sister: My baby (well, three years younger) sister. She is my best friend also, but in quite a different way than BFF. (Actually we are collectively besties altogether.) She is probably the only person in the entire world that truly understands me. Our brains work in the same really bizarre way, and when we are together we can be our truly crazy selves. Sister is amazing and magical. She is graduating from college soon, and then she will be moving to France for a job in the fall. Her job is only nine months in duration, but I wouldn't be surprised if she figured out a way to extend it, and lives there forever. I would miss her, but then I will have somewhere cool to visit. She is not baby crazy like me and BFF, but she works in an infant daycare and really is excited for me to have one so she can be a tante (Dutch for aunt, of course--did I not mention that we are Dutch (half) and really into it).

Um, so I'm not a super social girl, I guess, and these are really the three major people in my life. I hang out with other friends and such periodically, but I guess they will be introduced as we meet them.

Ok, that's all you need to know for now, I think. Some content soon, I hope.