34

You know what sucks? Rain. Still messing with my all dresses all the time plan. I am probably unecessarily angry about this. I think I went through 12 outfits today before I settled on one that didn't make me feel like crying, and I wasn't really even planning to leave the house or do anything productive. This last bit of pregnancy? Infuriating.

34 weeks today. I need to get my shit together. Today I googled every single family practice and pediatrician covered by my insurance so I can get going on finding a doctor for baby boy. It's 2011, you'd think the internet would be a lot more helpful when it comes to finding a doctor, but no, not really. Rarely did I find a doctor that had reviews, and almost never was the information in the reviews helpful. That's nice that he had a friendly receptionist, but what's his attitude on vaccines? Ugh. I keep getting the feeling that I'm going about this all wrong, because if it was this hard for everyone I would have heard about it, right? Maybe?

But hard as they are, things are going. Kyle is going to put our childcare deposit down tomorrow, assuming the space is still open--cross your fingers, because otherwise we are shit outta luck on that front. Our childbirth class is going well. Penny Simkin is truly the bees knees. I wish she could be my doula.  We're setting up appointments with doulas, too. Better late than never, I suppose. And I got myself accepted into a pilot study about placenta encapsulation and post partum mood disorders, so get that done for free. And I'm like, participating in science, woo. Tomorrow mom is coming over to help me paint our "nursery." I don't know why I am using the quotes there, since it is just the nursery, but it doesn't really feel real yet. Something.

I've gone down to four days a week at work. Three this week because of the holiday. I'm not super happy about it, and I'm only doing it because I have PTO I have to use up by the end of the month. I was hoping it would last a little longer and I could roll it into my maternity leave, but no such luck. But honestly, I think I kind of needed to step back a little anyway, because I am exhausted.

Too exhausted to think of a way to wrap this up. The end.