The Simple Life

If every day was like today I might consider the whole stay-at-home-mom gig. I mean, not really, since it's not a financially feasible thing for us right now, and every day is not like today anyway, but really, today was simply blissful. 

I got myself up early, on my day off, and dragged myself to yoga. It's been a long time since I've been to class regularly, but I need to carve out some time to myself, so I've been going to class at a studio just down the street and it's been lovely. This morning's practice was, in a word, beautiful. Joyful, even, and you could feel it radiating out of everyone in the room. I needed this. I'm in perfectly reasonable shape, thanks to my job, but my muscles are so tight, and I need the opportunity for relaxation and meditation and slowness and deep breaths. My unofficial new years' resolution, I suppose, is then to get to class twice a week. I think it's doable.

It was a beautiful clear day today, after a week of thick fog, and then finally rain yesterday, so Tycho and I took a walk to get brunch. Tycho walked the whole 3/4 mile without me having to carry him, except for across a couple streets. He stopped to look at every bird and truck and smiled at everyone we passed. Kyle met us at the restaurant. Food was delicious. I had a mimosa.

When he napped this afternoon I tidied and vacuumed and assembled our new dining room furniture that has been sitting in boxes in the garage for weeks now. I'm slowly (slowly!) but surely turning our house into a home and these bright yellow chairs bring so much happiness into this space.

In between all these things I let myself really be present with my kid. It's hard to do sometimes, when there's so much to get done or I just need a break or I can't pull myself away from the inanities of facebook, but I spent most of the afternoon down on the floor with him wrestling and cuddling and reading and giggling and it was just what I needed.

He went to bed easily tonight, and I am enjoying my alone time. Some music, a fire, chocolate, the internet. And another day off with my babyman tomorrow! This is happiness.

Time.

WHY AM I SO BAD AT THIS BLOG THING?

It's this time of year, a lot of it. Last year I was still on maternity leave during the pre-holiday heavy workload time of year, so I could write infinite posts full of Tycho pictures, but this year I got a promotion and I'm so busy at work and I have a toddler at home and I can't just type with one hand while nursing anymore. I want to blog because I want to capture my life right now because I know that next year (or even next month) I will have forgotten so much of what right now is like. Because it all changes so fast.

But here I am trying.

Tycho at 15 months

Sometimes after Tycho goes to bed at night, or on my lunch break at work on my phone, I like to go through old photos and reminisce. Not old old. Back to this spring or even just to his birthday. That was over three months ago now. It feels like it was yesterday. But then I look back at these pictures and I see this tiny baby boy that I barely recognize. He is already a completely different person, and did his hair really grow that much in such a short time? I remember it already being so long then.

I watch old videos from when he was tiny. Before he could crawl or walk or even sit up by himself. I don't even remember that time. How did this all happen?

That's motherhood, I guess. I need to be better at this. I take tons of pictures, and I'm so happy that I have each and every one of them, but I also need more than just these snapshots. I need to save my experience of what it feels like to be right here in this moment with my 479-day-old little boy, because tomorrow everything might be different.

But at the same time I'm trying also to carve out time for me to just be Astrid and not mama, and I want to prioritize my marriage and alone time with my husband, and I want to be the best that I can at work, and all of these things are so hard to balance. Never mind doing the laundry or sweeping the floor or actually decorating our new home.

I think I'm doing a pretty good job. I'm mostly happy in all the facets of me. I am a good mother. My baby boy thinks I am the best thing ever. THE. BEST. Period. Nothing tops mama. But sometimes he refuses even me kisses. It's okay. I'm doing great at work, and generally feel energized about being there. I know my job isn't, in the grand scheme of things, very important or meaningful, but I like what I do. I go on dates with my husband once in a while. We are planning a trip just the two of us for after the holidays. Somewhere warm. Maybe Hawaii. Just me is in there somewhere too. Things are good. Now is good. Just hope I can remember it all.

Amazing thing, amazing thing, amazing thing, amazing thing!

SOOOOOO.

Things are finally starting to turn around for my little family, and I'm at the point where things are not so secret. A few brief updates:

1) I GOT A PROMOTION! I am now a big fancy pants assistant manager. Haha. I'm really excited about it, though. I've been working my butt off for the past several months to prove myself and I'm so happy it's paid off. I really love what I do, so I'm super happy to climb another rung on the career ladder.

2) We're buying a house! Like, for real. We found a beautiful townhouse in an adorable neighborhood. We had the inspection yesterday, so now we need to do some negotiating, and , fingers crossed, it will be ours in about a month. More to come on that front.

3) TYCHOSTEPS!