The next phase

So, I have a two-year-old now. I've been saying I had a two year old for a couple of weeks now, because that's easier, but now, really and truly. I am trying to stop calling him a baby because he is two and he sleeps in a real bed and he eats food like a grown-ass person, and we haven't been nursing for approximately a billion years now, and even though his speech is still lacking, he often does make his opinions known and he has this little personality that is his and his alone and it is kind of amazing.

This is my favorite age ever. I know I always say that, but that is because I like him better and better the older he gets. Because he gets more and more awesome.

It's been six months, give or take a few days, but I finally got another picture of him with his birthday bear today. I stopped doing them monthly at 18 months because he just wouldn't stay in one place, and while he still changes so much so fast, it was getting harder to notice on a monthly basis. So, here he is, in all his two-year-old glory:

He's grown up a lot since last time.

His birthday was really fun. We had a non-party party. Just those closest to us over for dinner and cake and presents and vegan ice cream for this poor dairy sensitive kid. He's finally catching on to the whole presents concept. Watching his eyes almost pop out of his skull at each amazing! thing! was so much fun for me.

His special gift from Kyle and I was baseball gear. His own mitt, tee, and bat. I maybe shouldn't have been, but I was shocked how he seem to grasp the tee concept right away. Not perfectly, mind you, but the pretty basic put ball on tee, knock it off with bat was right up his chubby little alley.

He took it to bed with him that night and slept with it and we woke up in the morning to him beating down his door with it. Sigh.

TWO!!!

Dear Tycho,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE MAN! You turned two today! I can hardly believe it!

I said I wasn't going to have a party this year, just dinner at home with family, but dinner at home with family IS a party. Grandma and Opa and tante Annika and Julien and Yoann and Anna and John and of course Shea and Ashley and your best buddy Arlo all came over to eat tacos with us and celebrate YOU. Because you're so awesome.

You loved all your presents this year. Mostly sports equipment. You're sleeping with your new baseball bat right now. I love that you've such a distinct personality. Everyone knew just what to get you!

What a two years it's been! You've changed my life totally and completely and every day it gets even better. I can't wait to see what your third year brings!

Love, Mama

Stuff

Blog! Why am I so terrible at updating? Ugh.

Life has been busy busy busy. Lots of BIG THINGS happening with us, most of which I don't really want to share until we're not in the thick of things. But the biggest thing of all: FIRST STEPS! Tycho actually took his first steps while I was at work for Ashley, and I am so proud of myself because I wasn't upset in the least about missing it. I am just SO excited about him learning to walk. We've seen quite a few more tentative steps since, and every time I feel like my heart is going to completely burst with joy. So awesome.

Anyway, more content soon. In the mean time, here's some pictures from Tycho's birthday party to tide you over.

Another week?

Why hello 41 weeks. I thought for sure I would be greeting you with a baby in my arms instead of in my uterus, but apparently not so much.

The last few days have been... tumultuous. To say the least. I made it 22 hours of Kyle's birthday being a good, un-irritating, scarce wife... but then I had a complete, sobbing on the bathroom floor nervous breakdown, obviously. I can't even really recount it now, since once you get out of these episodes it's really hard to remember where your head was when you were in them. But some combination of being totally tired of being pregnant, feeling like my body wasn't working right, total terror at the unknown of (dun dun dun) INTERVENTIONS that I hadn't really thought about because I was sure I wouldn't need them, something something hormones, emotional crier, yadda yadda.  Even though I can't (and have no desire to) get back into that headspace, I can tell you that it was a scary, dark place that was as bad as I had ever been, where my only coping mechanisms are really breaking things and hurting myself. I managed to refrain from both of these things, but yeah.

Kyle says it's like I'm going through the stages of grieving. Yes, except for that once I reach the acceptance stage I can't seem to stay there and head back through the cycle all over again.

Today I feel pretty good, not least of all because I lost my mucous plug/had some bloody show this morning. I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything, but it at least goes to show that my body hasn't completely abandoned that baby-birthing project, as was my fear. Also, TMI, but SO. MUCH. MUCOUS. Really, I had no idea. I've also been having seemingly more significant contractions for the last two days, but they haven't really seemed organized enough to matter, so I'm mostly just giving my belly the side-eye and waiting for things to be more definite.

Today also marked my very last day at work. Possibly FOREVER, but at least for the next 12 weeks. Very strange. Tomorrow morning is my midwife appointment omg scary times, but I'm feeling pretty optimistic about it, what with recent developments. I feel pretty confident, at least for the moment, that things are not going to end all scary scary doctor hospital needle scalpel DEATH. Whee positive attitude! I try.

25

Today is my 25th birthday. To be honest, I don't get very worked up about my birthday. The last time I had a party was when I turned 21. According to our original plans, baby-making wasn't going to start in earnest until at least this coming January, and so I wanted to go out with a bang, so to speak, and throw myself a big bash for my last birthday before babies. But here is my 25th birthday and I am pregnant. And I am so glad. Really, I kind of hate birthday parties to begin with. They are fine to attend, yes, but the organizing and cooking and baking and hostessing I could really live without. Someone could throw me a birthday party and that would be wonderful, but like hell am I doing it for myself.

Today was also supposed to be my very first prenatal appointment with the midwives at the birth center Kyle and I visited a couple weeks ago. But with the snow, no such luck. They called me this morning to reschedule, which was fine, because I was about to call them for the same reason. But it is kind of disappointing. I was looking forward to this, and all the other things that make this pregnancy feel more real. I haven't even confirmed that I am in fact pregnant with an actual medical professional. Just my two home pregnancy tests and a host of symptoms. I don't really feel like I need to, but... I don't know. I just want to get going on everything, and the snow is getting in the way.

Otherwise, though, my birthday has been wonderful. Kyle made me breakfast this morning, even thought the waffles were only of the frozen variety it was still sweet, especially since he got up hours before he would otherwise to feed hungry wife and embryo. Yesterday I got a package in the mail from my mother-in-law. We said we weren't doing birthday or Christmas gifts this year with his family, but she sent me one anyway. Maternity clothes. A little premature, of course, but also completely thoughtful and adorable. I'm glad she's as excited about this as I am. And the stuff she picked out is completely my style. It will be nice to have around, I imagine, when all of the sudden nothing fits and I haven't had a chance to really shop for my new wardrobe.

That's it, I guess, for all this birthday business. This post was supposed to be a lot more exciting, what with the appointment business, but acts of god, you know. I will say that twenty four was pretty much the best year so far. My biggest wish of the last five or so years finally came true. And I have it on good authority that twenty five will be even better.